Sunday, September 23, 2012

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

I've become the world's worst blogger.  My last three post have been about how I'm ready to get back into it.  I've been very unsuccessful at actually getting back into it and am feeling pretty guilty about it. This is supposed to be a place where I chronicle my journey to parenthood for my future children who are busy growing right now as I type these words.  It's not like I don't have anything to report on, I do! Babies, there's so much to say!  The thing is, I compose posts in my head and then never get to writing them.  It's just that all this baby cooking is making me so sleepy.  I hope you understand.
So, in an attempt to catch up here's...

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

The Good:
There's so much good I almost don't know where to begin.  I love being pregnant.  I know I've said that before, but, it's true.  Aside from feeling tired come afternoon, I really feel good.  I've finally gotten the appetite I thought I'd have as a pregnant lady.  Apparently, I take after my grandmother who, during all of her pregnancies, ate chocolate everyday.  I must have a brownie or chocolate chip cookies at least once a day.  One of my most favorite things to do is to bake 2 cookies that have been scooped out of a tube of ready made dough and put a scoop of ice-cream between them. Heaven.
In my last post I was getting a bit worried that I hadn't felt the babies move much.  Well that has all changed.  These babies are rocking and rolling!  They are most active at night and oftentimes wake me up. Well it's either the babies or the fact that I have to pee.  Either way, I love feeling the little flutters and pops.  Baby A is more active than Baby B making me think that he or she is going to be a handful.
We've started doing some serious baby shopping.  We ordered our cribs and they will be delivered in a few weeks.  We got this amazing dresser that we will use for the changing table.  I ordered a bunch of baby related items to be delivered, some of which include a special breastfeeding pillow for twins, teeny tiny onesies and rompers, the city select double stroller and bottles for when I return to work.
But my most favorite accomplishment in the last few weeks is posting our pregnancy announcement.  I have been planning it for months and I finally made it.  Check it out!  Pin-tastic!


The Bad:
Three weeks ago there were some tears.  We went in for our anatomy scan on a Saturday morning.  I managed to make my appointment early so there weren't many people there.  The scan took about an hour.  The doctor spent a lot of time on each baby. She kept asking me if I was ok to which Jason responded, "she can look at these babies all day!"  We saw little noses and toes, thumbs being sucked and hearts beat beat beating away.  At one point I looked up at the monitor teary-eyed and thought, "I can't believe how much I love these babies already."  After the scan was finished we learned that my doctor was unable to see us.  On any other day this would have been inconvenient but really no big deal.  But, after waiting an hour to get the scan report it had become a lot more than inconvenient.  According to the report Baby B had two soft markers for Down Syndrome.  We had to wait an entire week to speak to my doctor about this.   I, somehow, managed not to freak out too much and waited to talk to my doctor.   I knew it wasn't going to be a good conversation.  I knew what she was going to say.  I cried nonetheless.  She told us that we could do an amnio to know for sure but it would put both babies at risk of miscarrying.  Jason and I already knew that we weren't willing to risk this pregnancy in any way.  Like I said before, we love these babies so much already. We decided right then and there in that office that it didn't matter, that we would be the best parents possible to whoever these babies are.  And just like that something that seemed so bad wasn't all that bad anymore.  
Here are my little lovelies growing bigger everyday.


The 20 Week Bump
And now in other news, the ugly:
Out there in blogger land lots of people have been asking about the state of the world, IPs planning trips to India in particular.  According to the media it's a pretty ugly place.  And, yes, there have been protests in parts of India.  Hate is ugly.  Fear is ugly.  But, there has been no sign of it here in Delhi.  As someone who lives in a foreign country and is surrounded by people who are unlike myself I often forget that  the world is full of hate and fear and misinformation. Fear not, Delhi is as safe as it has ever been.  
I have been reminded in the past weeks that it's important to stay informed.  But more importantly, I was reminded to look at things from other perspectives. Whether you are looking at a news story or an ultrasound report, does not matter,  a fresh perspective can make all the difference in the world.  
Peace.